More than five separate conversations happened before the idea that it’s entirely possible to transform the way we see ourselves, set it.
The peril of Covid for me is that I can often only have Zoom conversations with clients about their bodies and the clothing on them versus being with them in person, whichI prefer.
This particular morning, I was watching the screen as my lovely 50-something fellow woman winced, and wriggled uncomfortably while I asked her questions:
What do you see in the mirror?
Where is your eye drawn?
What about rolling the sleeves up on that blouse?
Have the pants been hemmed?
What I’m really asking is her is can she transform the way she sees herself? Can she do it without abandoning the effort, the process, or herself?
Transform according to Merriam Webster says:
1a: to change in composition or structure
b: to change the outward form or appearance of
c: to change in character or condition : CONVERT
Notice that transformation includes “convert”. I am wholeheartedly working to convert according to Merriam:
to bring over from one belief, view, or party to another
In order for change to happen — in order for you to make change happen — your beliefs and your VIEW have to change. My client, let’s call her, Ali, had a transforming moment when one — just one — piece of her clothing fit her well. Having decidedly more challenges finding pants than shirts, she had long ago abandoned the idea there were any that could fit her well. With a few handheld (until a seamstress could be employed in the process) tucks and holds on the fabric, she could, all of the sudden, see that it was not her body that needed changing, but the clothes themselves. When she saw that, she was quiet for more than a few seconds. “I never realized how important is was to see myself in the mirror and be ok with what is staring back.”
Our bodies may or may not need to lose or gain a few pounds. Or inches. But when it comes to transformation – seeing ourselves as we really are and accepting that beauty — clothing, well placed and well fitted — can help you forego abandonment and allow you to recapture that view you had of yourself when you were five.
Think about transforming your thinking about yourself rather than abandoning the idea that you were created to reflect a story bigger than yourself. Because you are. And it starts from the inside:
Only through an inner spiritual transformation do we gain the strength to fight vigorously the evils of the world in a humbling and loving spirit. Martin Luther King, Jr.
